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Speedbump (2019)
Speedbump 2019 was the first Speedbump event. The event was highlighted by Carlito putting the SvR06 Championship on the line inside the Elimination Chamber, J-Pac defending the World Heavyweight Championship against Brock Lesnar and Chris Jericho in a Triple Threat match, and "Macho Man" Randy Savage facing off against The Kingpin for the Intercontinental Championship. __TOC__ Background The return and subsequent victory of J-Pac marked the first time the current World Heavyweight Champion has ever won the Laugh Like Pee-wee match. While controversial for a reigning champion to challenge for the SvR06 Championship, the decision would stand that J-Pac would main event Diaz's Fuck Fest XV. Also at Laugh Like Pee-wee, Carlito would pull every trick he could out his fro to retain his title against the considerable threat of Batista. With his victory, Carlito boldly proclaimed that he vowed after winning Money in the Bank at last year's Fest that he would return a year later as the defending champion in the main event. With the title still in his possession, Carlito hosted a "Mission Accomplished" celebration for himself. Before the festivities could officially commence, Carlito was interrupted by Dynamite Derek. The frustrated Dynamite informed Carlito that the only reason he could call himself champion was because his title was introduced out of necessity after J-Pac stole the World Title from him and walked out of SvR06 with it. Dynamite Derek noted that J-Pac cost him the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest by eliminating him at Laugh Like Pee-wee, but that he found another way to get there. He stressed that he's always tried to fight for SvR06 and do best by everyone in it, which is why he would challenge Carlito for the SvR06 Championship at Speedbump to make sure that J-Pac couldn't take that title as well. This proclamation was followed by DEFAULT joining the conversation by telling Dynamite Derek that he's more than capable of fighting his own battles and that he plans on doing just that by winning the SvR06 Title at Speedbump and retaining it at the Fest. As co-commissioner Charles Barkley was still on leave following the attack by Butterbean, JBL took it upon himself to hold a battle royal between Carlito, Dynamite Derek, DEFAULT, Mark Jindrak, Chris Masters, and Rey Mysterio. All six men would enter the career-altering prison of the Elimination Chamber with the SvR06 Championship on the line, and the winner of the battle royal would find himself entering that match last. However, the first eliminated would be the first to enter. That unlucky soul would end up being Rey Mysterio, as he was tossed out by the combination of Mark Jindrak and Chris Masters. However, Jindrak would quickly earn some receipt on his partner from Laugh Like Pee-wee by chucking him out as well. Taking advantage of the friction between his challengers, Carlito would ultimately secure the victory to earn himself the right to enter last in the Elimination Chamber. With the odds on his side, will Carlito make good on his promises to return to the main event of Diaz's Fuck Fest or will another prospective champion rise to the occasion at Speedbump? As this year's Laugh Like Pee-wee match drew to a close, many were shocked to see J-Pac return to SvR06 and win the over-the-top-rope tussle. Not only was J-Pac still officially the World Heavyweight Champion, the first to win Laugh Like Pee-wee, he would earn an opportunity at the SvR06 Championship at Diaz's Fuck Fest XV with his victory. This result didn't sit well with runner-up Brock Lesnar, who claimed that he would have demolished J-Pac had he not found a lucky opening to toss him out. Since everyone was too chicken shit, in Lesnar's words, to step up to him at the Fest, Brock claimed that he and J-Pac had plenty of free time to compete for the World Title at Speedbump. This would draw the ire of another man who returned at Laugh Like Pee-wee, Chris Jericho. The Revelator of Ragnarock used social media to express his frustrations over being eliminated from the 30-man match by Lesnar, going as far to make allusions to the state of Brock's midsection. Brock would respond by suggesting Jericho can only try to hurt him with a computer because there's nothing he can do to him physically. This would lead Jericho to respond by later ambushing Lesnar with a laptop, drawing first blood from The Beast. Jericho would go on to claim that J-Pac and Brock are both suffering from ring rust due to their extended breaks from the ring. He claimed that he wasn't simply taking time off while he was away, but rather has been competing in grueling competitions in places so underground and elite that nobody in SvR06 is even qualified enough to compete there. With that in mind, Jericho informed J-Pac that he was the man who was most qualified to be World Heavyweight Champion. Brock Lesnar would join the two in the ring, when J-Pac would push Jericho into Brock's waiting grasp for an F-5. As the World Champion attempted to flee, he was stopped by JBL. The co-commissioner would claim that both challengers have made compelling arguments for themselves and that they both with challenge J-Pac for the title at Speedbump. J-Pac may have a guaranteed shot at the SvR06 Champion in the main event of the Fest, but the road there will reach a dangerous intersection as it crosses a bitter war between Lesnar and Jericho. Although the road was arduous, "Macho Man" Randy Savage bounced back in a big way when he recaptured the Intercontinental Championship, becoming the man to hold SvR06's workhorse title more times than anyone. After retaining the gold against Scott Steiner in a riveting conclusion to their heated rivalry, Savage succeeded in not only keeping the title in his possession but also in putting a target on his back. Meanwhile, The Kingpin recently lamented about the fact that he may have begun to grow soft as time has gone on, despite being one of the greatest physical threats and minds SvR06 has ever seen. While this almost appeared to be Fisk's way of admitting that he needed to step away, the colossal crimelord would apparently rediscover his edge when he brutally assaulted the Macho Man. Savage would suffer bruised ribs after receiving a series of The Kingpin's patented splashes known as The Blast. Each subsequent splash seemed to bring The Kingpin more joy, as though he derived a sick sense of pleasure in squashing his smaller opposition like a bug. The Kingpin would elaborate that he attacked Randy Savage to remind everyone why he is the most powerful man both inside and outside of the ring, claiming that the title of "Macho Man" was merely arbitrary. This was disputed by JBL, who informed him that as long as Charles Barkley is still away on leave, he is the most powerful man in the company. Keeping that in mind, JBL told Kingpin that the competitors on his roster don't settle things with blindsided attacks. They settle it face to face. On that note, JBL announced that "Macho Man" Randy Savage will have a fair opportunity to settle things with The Kingpin at Speedbump when he defends the Intercontinental Championship against the Massive Machiavellian. After going underground for a brief period, Winslow J. Wiley resurfaced to save the coveted United States Championship from being held hostage by the tandem of Chance and the reigning champion Drew Thunder. Winslow would earn his opportunity to challenge for the title at Laugh Like Pee-wee against both men in a Triple Threat match, but the match inevitably turned into a two-on-one assault on the ring veteran. However, the contest would culminate with the lights in the arena dimming, signaling the apparent return of the Phenom that Drew Thunder and Chance attempted to dispose of a month prior. Instead, the only thing that would materialize would be Chance taking advantage of the mysterious power outage and winning the United States Title. The Master of Drew-Jitsu was left in a vexing position, but Chance eased his concerns by telling him that it was all for one and one for all between them. Regardless, the two had little time to sort out the dilemma because Winslow J. Wiley refused to end his pursuit of the championship so easily. It was at this point that Chance conceived a scenario. Since both Drew Thunder and Winslow J. Wiley were unsuccessful at Laugh Like Pee-wee, the two of them could face off at Speedbump with the winner challenging him at Diaz's Fuck Fest XV for the gold. As Chance would inform Drew Thunder, all he has to do is beat Winslow to ensure that one of them leaves the Fest as the champion. As The Golden Boy would remind him, it's all for one and one for all. Since arriving on the scene, The Bar have been on a path of destruction in the tag team division. At Laugh Like Pee-wee, Sheamus and Cesaro would manage to capture their first World Tag Team Championship against reigning champions The Chart Toppers and the formidable Pranksters. The Pranksters noted that they were never pinned or submitted by The Bar, and challenged them to a championship match at Diaz's Fuck Fest XV to bring an end to their year's journey back to the tag team titles. This was met with criticism from The Chart Toppers, who blamed The Pranksters for costing them their titles. While the challengers for the titles were determined going into the Fest, another tag team found themselves at the center of another conundrum. It began when Diamondust received a mysterious note of unknown origin, stating "Think On Your Sins." Goldust advised him not to worry about it and to focus on getting back on top of the tag team division. It was later that Goldust started to become the target of these threats, as Diamondust was informed that he would never see Goldust again if he continued down his current path. Diamondust would rashly confront JBL on resolving the matter, who was outraged at being barged in on and claimed that he was merely looking at bodybuilding pictures. He also admitted to not even realizing that The Dust Busters were employed, and admitted that he'd been looking for challengers for The Bar at Speedbump. With that in mind, he suggested that the two of them would face Sheamus and Cesaro for the World Tag Team Championship at the event. However, if either of them loses the match for their team, their career in SvR06 will be over. A war of words has been brewing between The Chart Toppers and The Pranksters ever since the events of Laugh Like Pee-wee. On that evening, The Bar walked away with the World Tag Team Titles that were being defended by Conway and Grenier. When The Pranksters challenged The Bar for the titles at the upcoming Fest, the former champions took exception and blamed the duo's inclusion in their title defense for the reason that they're no longer champions. In an attempt to show that losing the titles wasn't going to break their stride, Jimmy Hart announced that his boys would be debuting their newest single live for the SvR06 audience. However, things became suspicious whenever the band's vocal performance sounded mysteriously similar to Jimmy Hart. It wasn't long before the audio was suddenly cut from the loudspeakers and replaced with Anunga Nunga. No doubt as to who was responsible, Jimmy Hart said that The Chart Toppers had been embarrassed by The Pranksters for the last time. The Mouth of the South suggested that the two teams settle their issues at Speedbump, and it was later decided that the winners would receive an opportunity at the World Tag Team Championship at Diaz's Fuck Fest XV. Will The Pranksters take one step closer to once again becoming the champions or will The Chart Toppers begin their journey back to the top of the tag team division? With the historic fifteenth Fest closing in, there has been little word from Bret Hart as to what his plans are for the monumental event. The Hall of Famer was not only set on competing at Diaz's Fuck Fest for the first time since the tenth installment, he has also been hellbent on getting another opportunity to face Kurt Angle ever since the former Olympian screwed him out of the United States Championship. There has been speculation that The Hitman may have suffered an injury at some point during the 30-man Laugh Like Pee-wee match, but these reports have remained unconfirmed. At Speedbump, Hart has requested an opportunity to clear the air both about his current status and his future in SvR06. Results